I recently finished my manuscript and for about a day I thought I was going to become an author. Why? Well because I had been in contact with a publishing company for a while and they had called to tell me that my manuscript had been accepted. I was so excited, I thought I was on top of the world although in the back of my mind I kept thinking this feels like a dream don’t get too excited. Well that didn’t work.
I wrote to my friends on facebook and of course people started liking and commenting on my post pretty quickly, mostly congratulating me which made me feel great and I must admit, inflated my ego quite a bit. I kept getting on facebook to see how many other people had heard of the news and then it happened. I got home and checked out their agreement and I felt like my world had shattered.
This company wanted me to pay them for the next 10 months totaling an amount of about 3000 dollars. Really? I mean I don’t know much about how the publishing industry works but I had always heard that if a company is asking you to pay them that you should just walk away. I felt like I was emotionally invested and for a few hours I thought that I would still go ahead with the deal. It is my money and I really want to get published plus I had made the announcement on facebook and I was freaking embarrassed!! I didn’t want to go back and say “Hey, hehehe funny thing happened but it was a false alarm.” So I figured I had to go on with the agreement. It didn’t last though which was a good thing. I immediately thought well hey if I told these people I was going to get published then I am just going to have to do just that!
I am now thinking of either self publishing or looking for literary agents. Any suggestions?
I think that if I hadn’t been so emotionally invested and excited I would have realized that if this company wanted me to cough up money in the first place it probably wasn’t the best idea. These people really know how to play on your emotions though. First of all I had always heard that getting published was so damn hard so when the road seemed to be so easy and smooth for me I just figured that it was the universe doing it for me. It didn’t help that the agent was telling me that my work was one of the best, that the board loved it and that everyone agreed that I would make a lot of money off my book. He also told me, after I voiced my hesitance because of the money, that even if I didn’t publish with them that he hoped I did publish because I would do very well.
I am not good at hiding my emotions but I am good at not wanting to be vulnerable so when someone praises you like that you can’t help but feel good about yourself and believe them and then maybe they can bend you into their own will. Self publishing intrigues me but it also scares me. It is a lot of research and then the marketing is something that troubles me a bit but sometimes to get to where you want to be or do you have to focus and push your emotions and feelings aside.
So why do we let our emotions get the best of us when we get that gnawing feeling in the pit of our stomach?