Do impulsiveness and selfishness go hand in hand?

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So I have been dreading this post a bit because it means I have to be quite vulnerable and get personal but it needs to be done so here goes…

Last week I had a family issue. I live with my sister and until recently we ate the same food and she would mostly cook but she would write out my half of the grocery money and because I make less than her and need to make car payments it started to stress me out so we decided to buy our own food. On Thanksgiving we were able to share the leftovers and my sister mentioned making something with the leftovers. I assumed that I would be able to partake but she wasn’t to crazy about it and I understood I really just hadn’t realized. What caused the issue was when I impulsively drank something she had made for friends visiting the next day. I knew it was wrong but in the moment I didn’t even think about it. I just wanted to drink something sweet and that was what was there. I am not impulsive at all in life but when it comes to food or something sweet I stop thinking and just act!

It became this whole thing because my sister vented with my mother about what I had done and my mom called me and told me about it. I hadn’t realized that it was going to blow up and I felt ambushed and very guilty because I realized that I had been very selfish. So this is finally the part when you guys finally see that the word weirdo on my title fits me….. When I realize something about myself that I don’t like I get very sensitive and guilty and I cry. Ugh… I hate crying because I want to be tough. I like to make people think that I don’t care and vulnerability and emotions are extremely difficult for me.

I have friends who cry with no fear when they are in a stressful situation. I cant do that and if I feel like I might start to show emotion in front of anyone I remove myself as fast as I can or I pretend to be tough. When I get stressed and upset I cuss like crazy so when my parents ask me to open up after I already feel guilty I remove myself from it because that means they will see me at my most vulnerable and I cant handle that.  I realize that I can be selfish when it comes to my emotions but it is very difficult for me to open up face to face. The written word definitely makes me feel more relaxed and helps me open up more.

So when our impulses affect others is that portrayed as selfishness or does selfishness have nothing to do with our impulses?

 

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Common Courtesy

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I have pretty much only worked on some type of customer service all my life, whether it be tourism or marketing I have always been in a job where I have to kiss ass. I have had to kiss ass a lot but I’ve never really seen the side of people that I am privy too working in retail.

I have had people that really talk to me with such condescension. I just recently had a customer ask me if there was anyway I could see if a coupon that wasn’t offered for another day could be used for a piece of merchandise. I told her that there was just no way to figure that out until the day of. She asked me if I was new and I told her I have been here more than a year (unfortunately) and she huffed and left. A few seconds later I heard her ask another associate and tell her that I didn’t know anything. Really?! That was a definite lack of common courtesy to me. If you need to talk badly about someone do it discreetly or wait until you are at least 100 yards away from me. She seemed to be intentionally loud so I could hear. Ok… and the point of that is what? How is that supposed to help anyone? It just makes you look like a bitch and it makes me feel like shit.

Another thing I get a lot is just dirty, gross people. I understand that it is part of our jobs to fix and re arrange our displays but it really doesn’t take much for people to just put things back where they found them. We clearly aren’t that lazy. You decided to get out of bed, shower, dress and drive to the store so it would make sense that you could just hang something back on a rack. If people walk around the store and decide not to get something at the last minute then ok…. I guess I can deal with that but when you dump something on top of a rack instead of just taking a few extra seconds to hang it or loop it in the same spot I don’t understand that. People just dump scarves and gloves on the same displays where they found it. It only takes a few extra seconds to fold the scarf or put the gloves back the same way they were found. If someone tries to put them back that’s what matters but when you see things on the floor, someone obviously doesn’t care. It is like if you were invited to stay at someone’s home and didn’t clean up after yourself because it isn’t your house. Its just common courtesy to want to clean your own mess being in someone else’s house (unless you’re extremely comfortable with them). I have heard of people actually shitting in the fitting rooms on our merchandise. That is a severe lack of common courtesy…. I think that’s more of a mental situation.

I am the first to admit I can be extremely lazy and common courtesy can go out the window for me with people that I am comfortable with because I feel that I can be at my worst and they will still be there but when it comes to strangers I always try to be on my best behavior. I really care what people think so when I go to a store or to a restaurant I always try to be as nice as possible so I guess I don’t understand why others don’t try to do the same.

Are we just so in our own world that we don’t realize our common courtesy can sometimes be lacking or do we really just not care? Whatever happened to treat others the way you want to be treated?