Positively Positive

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Wow!!! I know I have been MIA in the past but this is going on a little more than two months and I apologize for that. I promise I won’t go two months without updating again. Things have been going on and dare I say improving in my life. Have been getting busier working on other projects so that has kept my mind occupied. I am sure I have mentioned before that I am or was quite a negative nelly and am trying to be more positive.

I do feel happier even though I was stuck in the same old boring retail job that has no future until very recently. I am leaving the sucker and am finally going into a more creative atmosphere which is what I had always been craving! Funny thing though I got this job when I least expected it, as it usually happens. My sister had heard about this job fair and I wasn’t in any mood to go but went to shut her and my mom up and that is where I left my resume for this company and eventually heard from them and interviewed with them. I know if I hadn’t gone I would still have been stuck at this job and who knows how long it would’ve taken me to get out. Although as I said, I would’ve been stuck there with a more positive attitude (I can only hope).

Like I mentioned in my last post I am writing a book. I had said I would but I was scared to because I have to work on my lack of follow through when it comes to my writing projects. I have just recently started to feel more confident in my writing and so I am enjoying the process a lot more. Of course I have those moments where writing this novel drives me crazy because I can’t focus on my job and I find myself writing ideas on receipt paper and then there are times my mind is blank and I can’t think of anything at all. I have someone wanting to help me get published but I need to be approved by 3 people to be considered for the publishing company. I am keeping a positive attitude and for some reason I really believe I will be published as long as I finish the book on time (My deadline is the first week of September). I have been sending my work out and have been getting good feedback. All these things are really making me feel like a have a better sense of purpose in my life and therefore I feel more positive and confident in what is to come.

I am going back a little to my old negative ways when it comes to what my future job will entail. I have bad experiences before with jobs that seem to be to good to be true and they are and this company I’ll be joining gave me a bit of that vibe but I am not going to go into it thinking negatively or I will be doomed. I’ll go into it with a positive attitude and learn as much as I can and get everything I can out of it. Thinking positively has helped me reach my short term goals quicker than I had before but I still do have a long way to go. It still isn’t easy for me to plaster a fake smile on my face when I have one of the worst customers doing things that just annoy the hell out of me but someone told me you should act like you are already working at your dream job. This one is the hardest one for me to do cause as I have said over and over again I just didn’t like where I was! Was! That word sounds like heaven to me because it means I wont be at this job much longer. Now that is something to be positive about!

We do all tend to be brought down and think negatively because of the problems and obstacles that present themselves to us but there is always someone out there who is worse off than we are.

So why do we feel like victims in our own life when we should be grateful for what we have?

 

Dreams

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Dreams…. that word scares the crap out of me. My ultimate dream is to work in film and live in California. Because this is my ultimate goal it doesn’t scare me as much as my smaller dreams do. The ones that could potentially lead you to your final goal.

I get a lot of ideas… writing projects if you will. If you haven’t already noticed… I love to write which is why I decided to blog but writing scares me… which is why I don’t do it often. It is something I am praised about and yet I don’t believe I am any good at it. I don’t like reading what I have just written, it always seems off to me.

I have tried to write a few scripts but I get frustrated because I don’t know how to organize my thoughts or I try to come up with a different plot twist but my ideas just aren’t up to par and I give up and move on.

I recently watched the documentary “The Secret” and it really made me realize that I am not thinking the way that I am supposed to be thinking to feel fulfilled and happy in my life. I am a negative person so I attract negativity into my life. Now I have a new dream, the old me would say ” I am thinking about writing a novel”. The new me decides to say “I am going to write a novel”. This idea really scares me most of all, to the point where I don’t want to tell my parents because I am afraid I will never finish and disappoint them yet again with another unfinished writing project.

I am thinking more positive now so I know I will write this novel and I wont disappoint anyone anymore. I tell people what I am going to do so I feel committed and I do it but I just need to start doing it and believing more in my craft. If I believe that I am a good writer and think positively about the writing process and the experience that means that I am chasing at least one of my dreams and it will come true, and this could lead me to something else… you just never know.

So why are we scared of our dreams? Why do we think about doing something instead of taking action and just doing it?

My mom tells me that all the time  JUST DO IT!