Risky Business

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What is your first thought when you hear the word Risk? I know that there is the group of people who will mentally shit their pants at the mention of it and there are others that will get excited by it. Some people just thrive on the word and they smile in the face of a challenge. I think I am somewhat in the middle. I don’t mentally shit my pants, more like pee, but I also don’t really thrive on it. I always need to run my ideas by my friends and family and then I decide whether I should take the dive or not.

I do think I need to embrace the risks that come into my life more head on. I am very dependent on what others say around me that it could potentially keep me from living my life if I was talked out of taking a risk that could change my life for the better. I am currently thinking about moving to California. I had always had the idea of moving to the west because I studied film and its just the best place for the opportunity but I wanted to wait until I was 30. Lets just say it’s not working out that way. I didn’t expect to get depressed like I have been and I figured I would at least have my foot in the door by now…. alas… it ain’t happening that way. I have had at least 4 opportunities to get into something potentially exciting but they all fell apart. At this point the best thing for me is to move to the west coast and hopefully get an entry level position in a production company.

It is hard for me to take risks. I can get very complacent and I am terrified of what might happen if the risks I take don’t pan out but then I look at where I am now. I haven’t taken any life changing risks and the result of that is me working in a job I can’t stand, restless and depressed. At this point I really have nothing else to lose…..except for money.

I don’t know if I could just pack up and go with the little money I have and see what happens…. I mean come on!! I am still very new to this risk thing. My first risk was deciding to write this blog, but if I become restless enough I might end up doing that. Right now I am applying to jobs in the west coast and hopefully that way I wont go in so blind. Do you get scared every time you take a risk or do you get over it the more you face it?

I hear that your dreams are meant to scare you and if they don’t they aren’t big enough… so why do we shy away from something that we know will uplift us and make us happy?

 

 

Defeated

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Judgment day happens everyday in our society especially with looks and beauty being more important now than ever before. We judge people on how they talk, carry themselves, look and act. Before we would think  “ugh what was she thinking leaving the house like that” but with the internet it is actually being said in the written word. We are more aware of being judged because as a people we are more vocal.

Judgment day for me was supposed to be on Saturday and I guess it was just not in the way I expected. As I am sure you know by now (or maybe you don’t) I am pretty private so putting my words out there especially on social media gives me the hibby jibbies but I decided to face my fears and do it. I wrote on someone’s social media page and posted my blog link to get more views and traffic. After I did this I kept thinking I was going to get slammed and judged by others for doing this but nothing happened. When I finally checked the page I realized that my post had been taken down probably no more than an hour after I had posted. This pissed me off and depressed me because I realized that this person didn’t even bother to read my work before taking the post down. I understand that we live in a selfish world. It has to be about us and if we don’t get a post that at least references us on our page we tend to shy away. I do think my post might have been a bit ostentatious and obnoxious but if I had someone putting a post on my page I would read it first and if it wasn’t appropriate leave a message to let this person know that I am taking the post down and this is the reason why.

After this happened I really felt defeated. Just like anyone else I have had some punches and challenges thrown at me and it gets tiring after a while. I see people who have been in their desired career from a young age and wonder why this couldn’t happen to me. I really thought posting would get me my audience quick but when it didn’t for a split second I wondered “why am I doing this?” but I do enjoy writing this blog so the question was quickly erased from my mind. This question stuck with me though:

When life keeps throwing punches at you how long can you keep getting up with a smile on your face before you either aren’t motivated at the obstacles that keep coming your way or you just decide not to get back up?

We all should be thankful for what we have and to not compare ourselves to others but when we try to reach our dreams and obstacles are in the way it is hard to remember that there are others far less fortunate than us.