Positively Positive

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Wow!!! I know I have been MIA in the past but this is going on a little more than two months and I apologize for that. I promise I won’t go two months without updating again. Things have been going on and dare I say improving in my life. Have been getting busier working on other projects so that has kept my mind occupied. I am sure I have mentioned before that I am or was quite a negative nelly and am trying to be more positive.

I do feel happier even though I was stuck in the same old boring retail job that has no future until very recently. I am leaving the sucker and am finally going into a more creative atmosphere which is what I had always been craving! Funny thing though I got this job when I least expected it, as it usually happens. My sister had heard about this job fair and I wasn’t in any mood to go but went to shut her and my mom up and that is where I left my resume for this company and eventually heard from them and interviewed with them. I know if I hadn’t gone I would still have been stuck at this job and who knows how long it would’ve taken me to get out. Although as I said, I would’ve been stuck there with a more positive attitude (I can only hope).

Like I mentioned in my last post I am writing a book. I had said I would but I was scared to because I have to work on my lack of follow through when it comes to my writing projects. I have just recently started to feel more confident in my writing and so I am enjoying the process a lot more. Of course I have those moments where writing this novel drives me crazy because I can’t focus on my job and I find myself writing ideas on receipt paper and then there are times my mind is blank and I can’t think of anything at all. I have someone wanting to help me get published but I need to be approved by 3 people to be considered for the publishing company. I am keeping a positive attitude and for some reason I really believe I will be published as long as I finish the book on time (My deadline is the first week of September). I have been sending my work out and have been getting good feedback. All these things are really making me feel like a have a better sense of purpose in my life and therefore I feel more positive and confident in what is to come.

I am going back a little to my old negative ways when it comes to what my future job will entail. I have bad experiences before with jobs that seem to be to good to be true and they are and this company I’ll be joining gave me a bit of that vibe but I am not going to go into it thinking negatively or I will be doomed. I’ll go into it with a positive attitude and learn as much as I can and get everything I can out of it. Thinking positively has helped me reach my short term goals quicker than I had before but I still do have a long way to go. It still isn’t easy for me to plaster a fake smile on my face when I have one of the worst customers doing things that just annoy the hell out of me but someone told me you should act like you are already working at your dream job. This one is the hardest one for me to do cause as I have said over and over again I just didn’t like where I was! Was! That word sounds like heaven to me because it means I wont be at this job much longer. Now that is something to be positive about!

We do all tend to be brought down and think negatively because of the problems and obstacles that present themselves to us but there is always someone out there who is worse off than we are.

So why do we feel like victims in our own life when we should be grateful for what we have?

 

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Defeated

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Judgment day happens everyday in our society especially with looks and beauty being more important now than ever before. We judge people on how they talk, carry themselves, look and act. Before we would think  “ugh what was she thinking leaving the house like that” but with the internet it is actually being said in the written word. We are more aware of being judged because as a people we are more vocal.

Judgment day for me was supposed to be on Saturday and I guess it was just not in the way I expected. As I am sure you know by now (or maybe you don’t) I am pretty private so putting my words out there especially on social media gives me the hibby jibbies but I decided to face my fears and do it. I wrote on someone’s social media page and posted my blog link to get more views and traffic. After I did this I kept thinking I was going to get slammed and judged by others for doing this but nothing happened. When I finally checked the page I realized that my post had been taken down probably no more than an hour after I had posted. This pissed me off and depressed me because I realized that this person didn’t even bother to read my work before taking the post down. I understand that we live in a selfish world. It has to be about us and if we don’t get a post that at least references us on our page we tend to shy away. I do think my post might have been a bit ostentatious and obnoxious but if I had someone putting a post on my page I would read it first and if it wasn’t appropriate leave a message to let this person know that I am taking the post down and this is the reason why.

After this happened I really felt defeated. Just like anyone else I have had some punches and challenges thrown at me and it gets tiring after a while. I see people who have been in their desired career from a young age and wonder why this couldn’t happen to me. I really thought posting would get me my audience quick but when it didn’t for a split second I wondered “why am I doing this?” but I do enjoy writing this blog so the question was quickly erased from my mind. This question stuck with me though:

When life keeps throwing punches at you how long can you keep getting up with a smile on your face before you either aren’t motivated at the obstacles that keep coming your way or you just decide not to get back up?

We all should be thankful for what we have and to not compare ourselves to others but when we try to reach our dreams and obstacles are in the way it is hard to remember that there are others far less fortunate than us.