Dreams

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Dreams…. that word scares the crap out of me. My ultimate dream is to work in film and live in California. Because this is my ultimate goal it doesn’t scare me as much as my smaller dreams do. The ones that could potentially lead you to your final goal.

I get a lot of ideas… writing projects if you will. If you haven’t already noticed… I love to write which is why I decided to blog but writing scares me… which is why I don’t do it often. It is something I am praised about and yet I don’t believe I am any good at it. I don’t like reading what I have just written, it always seems off to me.

I have tried to write a few scripts but I get frustrated because I don’t know how to organize my thoughts or I try to come up with a different plot twist but my ideas just aren’t up to par and I give up and move on.

I recently watched the documentary “The Secret” and it really made me realize that I am not thinking the way that I am supposed to be thinking to feel fulfilled and happy in my life. I am a negative person so I attract negativity into my life. Now I have a new dream, the old me would say ” I am thinking about writing a novel”. The new me decides to say “I am going to write a novel”. This idea really scares me most of all, to the point where I don’t want to tell my parents because I am afraid I will never finish and disappoint them yet again with another unfinished writing project.

I am thinking more positive now so I know I will write this novel and I wont disappoint anyone anymore. I tell people what I am going to do so I feel committed and I do it but I just need to start doing it and believing more in my craft. If I believe that I am a good writer and think positively about the writing process and the experience that means that I am chasing at least one of my dreams and it will come true, and this could lead me to something else… you just never know.

So why are we scared of our dreams? Why do we think about doing something instead of taking action and just doing it?

My mom tells me that all the time  JUST DO IT!