Positively Positive


Wow!!! I know I have been MIA in the past but this is going on a little more than two months and I apologize for that. I promise I won’t go two months without updating again. Things have been going on and dare I say improving in my life. Have been getting busier working on other projects so that has kept my mind occupied. I am sure I have mentioned before that I am or was quite a negative nelly and am trying to be more positive.

I do feel happier even though I was stuck in the same old boring retail job that has no future until very recently. I am leaving the sucker and am finally going into a more creative atmosphere which is what I had always been craving! Funny thing though I got this job when I least expected it, as it usually happens. My sister had heard about this job fair and I wasn’t in any mood to go but went to shut her and my mom up and that is where I left my resume for this company and eventually heard from them and interviewed with them. I know if I hadn’t gone I would still have been stuck at this job and who knows how long it would’ve taken me to get out. Although as I said, I would’ve been stuck there with a more positive attitude (I can only hope).

Like I mentioned in my last post I am writing a book. I had said I would but I was scared to because I have to work on my lack of follow through when it comes to my writing projects. I have just recently started to feel more confident in my writing and so I am enjoying the process a lot more. Of course I have those moments where writing this novel drives me crazy because I can’t focus on my job and I find myself writing ideas on receipt paper and then there are times my mind is blank and I can’t think of anything at all. I have someone wanting to help me get published but I need to be approved by 3 people to be considered for the publishing company. I am keeping a positive attitude and for some reason I really believe I will be published as long as I finish the book on time (My deadline is the first week of September). I have been sending my work out and have been getting good feedback. All these things are really making me feel like a have a better sense of purpose in my life and therefore I feel more positive and confident in what is to come.

I am going back a little to my old negative ways when it comes to what my future job will entail. I have bad experiences before with jobs that seem to be to good to be true and they are and this company I’ll be joining gave me a bit of that vibe but I am not going to go into it thinking negatively or I will be doomed. I’ll go into it with a positive attitude and learn as much as I can and get everything I can out of it. Thinking positively has helped me reach my short term goals quicker than I had before but I still do have a long way to go. It still isn’t easy for me to plaster a fake smile on my face when I have one of the worst customers doing things that just annoy the hell out of me but someone told me you should act like you are already working at your dream job. This one is the hardest one for me to do cause as I have said over and over again I just didn’t like where I was! Was! That word sounds like heaven to me because it means I wont be at this job much longer. Now that is something to be positive about!

We do all tend to be brought down and think negatively because of the problems and obstacles that present themselves to us but there is always someone out there who is worse off than we are.

So why do we feel like victims in our own life when we should be grateful for what we have?


Risky Business


What is your first thought when you hear the word Risk? I know that there is the group of people who will mentally shit their pants at the mention of it and there are others that will get excited by it. Some people just thrive on the word and they smile in the face of a challenge. I think I am somewhat in the middle. I don’t mentally shit my pants, more like pee, but I also don’t really thrive on it. I always need to run my ideas by my friends and family and then I decide whether I should take the dive or not.

I do think I need to embrace the risks that come into my life more head on. I am very dependent on what others say around me that it could potentially keep me from living my life if I was talked out of taking a risk that could change my life for the better. I am currently thinking about moving to California. I had always had the idea of moving to the west because I studied film and its just the best place for the opportunity but I wanted to wait until I was 30. Lets just say it’s not working out that way. I didn’t expect to get depressed like I have been and I figured I would at least have my foot in the door by now…. alas… it ain’t happening that way. I have had at least 4 opportunities to get into something potentially exciting but they all fell apart. At this point the best thing for me is to move to the west coast and hopefully get an entry level position in a production company.

It is hard for me to take risks. I can get very complacent and I am terrified of what might happen if the risks I take don’t pan out but then I look at where I am now. I haven’t taken any life changing risks and the result of that is me working in a job I can’t stand, restless and depressed. At this point I really have nothing else to lose…..except for money.

I don’t know if I could just pack up and go with the little money I have and see what happens…. I mean come on!! I am still very new to this risk thing. My first risk was deciding to write this blog, but if I become restless enough I might end up doing that. Right now I am applying to jobs in the west coast and hopefully that way I wont go in so blind. Do you get scared every time you take a risk or do you get over it the more you face it?

I hear that your dreams are meant to scare you and if they don’t they aren’t big enough… so why do we shy away from something that we know will uplift us and make us happy?