Texting is Scary!

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I did mention in a previous post that I am on an online dating website but I never really gave it much of a chance until recently. I have been more proactive and looking at other men’s profiles and that usually causes at least some of them to write you if they find you interesting.images (2)

The problems start when you actually respond to someone you might see yourself with or at least have an attraction towards. A lot of women are able to exchange messages and numbers and reach their goal… going out on that first date. I on the other hand am completely stagnant. Texting scares the shit out of me now and I never used to pay that much attention to it before but I realize that that is when I loose them.

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Now every time I make some type of connection with someone on the site I freak out because I know that eventually they’ll give me their number and just like all the other conversations it will fizzle down.

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I don’t bombard them with texts. I say my part and then wait for them to respond but I never know what the proper etiquette is and I never knew it was so damn complicated. Most of the time I wait for them to make the first move because I assume what I am sure most women assume as well. If a man is interested he will do anything to see you.

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Every one has a different way of expressing themselves though and I am forever confused with what the rules are. I know someone who manages to be bombarded by dates and she doesn’t wait an hour to respond to a message she responds as soon as her phone rings. I read somewhere that you are supposed to take your time to respond to texts and make them think that you have your own life and aren’t waiting around for them. It really frustrates the hell out of me because this woman answers them immediately and she gets tons of dates while I try not to appear eager and get none.

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I also read that we shouldn’t take our crushes not responding immediately as a form of rejection. I understand that people are busy and have lives but you cant always take 4 hours to respond to someone you supposedly like. I always thought that if you didn’t respond right away you weren’t interested. People are different so some rules wont apply to everyone but it seems like no matter how different the men I’ve been in contact with are from each other they, as well as us, still manage to play the same texting games.

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I still get excited when I meet someone but words mean nothing to me anymore. In the moment I might get excited by the sweet words or mentions of the future but then I remember that others have done the same and have not acted on it.

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I wish we could all just say how we feel and turn our words into actions instead of wondering all the time if your crush is truly into you or just bored.

So, would you rather text a bunch of men or women and never meet them or be known as the first date queen or king?

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Stuck, Confused and shall we say slightly Desperate?

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Whoa!! Its been a little more than a month since I have updated. For those of you who care I’ll try not to go that long again without posting but if you just started reading my blog I am sure you couldn’t care less so on with it. Wishing you a belated HAPPY NEW YEAR and hope all your dreams come true… ok… now on with the post.

I am so stuck in a rut it’s unbelievable and I am sure that I am not the only one. Something happened to me last Friday though that made me think wow! I am smarter than this, why did I do it?

So on my amazing exciting retail job I helped a customer who was “impressed” with my customer service skills. I think I may have been acting very well that day, anyway he told me his job was looking for new recruits and he would call me to set up an interview. I didn’t think I would hear from him and honestly I didn’t really care but low and behold he contacted me. Isn’t it funny when you hear from the jobs you couldn’t care less about and never hear from the one you really want? Went to the interview and what little expectation I had quickly washed off me the more I learned about this company but I was so desperate to get away from my job that I kept trying to find the silver lining. The guy then asks me for money to do a background check. I thought it was weird but I didn’t get a bad feeling from it and I gave him a credit card. I realize I had been hired on the spot although I was never told and when I called my mom and told her about the money she freaked out! “You are smarter than this”, “You are thinking like a little child”, “They are going to wipe us out”! Turns out that wasn’t the case but I did realize wow! I must be more desperate than I thought to get out of retail if I didn’t even ask why they needed the card.

The whole situation just made me more depressed. I thought this company was my light at the end of the tunnel and it really wasn’t. I spoke to my mom and realized that I still don’t exactly know what I want to do. I know that I want media involved. Forms of entertainment (except porn) have always interested me, any company that is involved in the creative would be something that would get me excited with life. Like I said on my first post I like being invisible and not being noticed so learning things behind the scenes would be a good fit for me. I was trying to get into PR but my mom mentioned that I don’t like the public, which is true but there are always going to be parts of your job that you don’t like even if it is your passion right?

Honestly? I haven’t really been looking for a job to get out of the one I oh so love! Why? Because I have had ample opportunity to move forward and something always happens that throws me back. I have this voice telling me why bother? You have tried and you keep falling down, maybe you’ve exhausted all your options… and I don’t want to get excited over a job just to get my dreams crushed yet again.

So why would we rather just exist in depression and not live in happiness?