I was settling..

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lovenotmediocre

Wow…it’s obviously been a while since I updated and I apologize for that. I don’t have to tell you that life comes with a lot of distractions…or maybe I just did.

A lot of things have happened within the last year and a half. The main thing was that ironically, after I posted Texting is Scary! I ended up in a relationship. It didn’t last long, just shy of six months. It’s always great in the beginning or so I have been told. To tell the truth I am now 31 and this was my first real serious relationship. So the mistakes you usually make when you are a teenager or in your early twenties I did in my thirties. My sister told me right away that she thought I was settling. She is more experienced in this area so I understood but I also tried to prove her wrong.

settlingtoxic

Now I am not saying my relationship was really as toxic as I am sure others have been and I am not comparing in anyway, but if you are settling that alone is toxic to your relationship.

At first he always wanted to be with me which I found endearing but at the same time I was a little stifled by it because I like my space. I don’t know if it ended up being a tactic of his though because in the end it was reversed. He was really into playing black ops which annoyed the hell out of me. As soon as he got the newest XBOX he stopped coming by and I pretty much had to go to his place over the weekend. If he came over it was always such a hassle. It felt like I was always inconveniencing him. I had to be real mad at him for him to do anything for me and if he did it it wouldn’t take long for him to revert back to his old ways. I wanted him to call me more and he would, for about a week and then if I wanted to hear from him I had to call him. That really bothered me. Shouldn’t your significant other always want to hear from you? If not everyday at least a few days a week.

waitingmiracle

Suffice it to say I am back to being single and yes waiting for a freaking miracle. We ended breaking up because he told me he didn’t want a commitment. That makes me wonder “then why are you online seeking a committed relationship, you dick”?

I wanted to have a talk about why his friends didn’t know about me, why his family didn’t know about me and why his profile was still active? Granted mine was as well but I hid my profile so I wasn’t getting any messages and I wasn’t going to delete my profile unless he felt the same. It seemed like these questions made him panic and he realized I wanted more than he did. At the moment I was sad that he broke it off but when he called me about three weeks later asking to be friends I felt right with his decision and told him to delete my number.

singlebed

So at my age I know I don’t have time to look for another mediocre relationship but thanks to the ex I know what I want and what I don’t want. I do want to clarify something. Just because I am green with this love thing and I indeed settled doesn’t mean I put up with his shit but when you see that his shit doesn’t change color then you know, he either doesn’t know how to care or he just doesn’t care and you should move on. When you give him several times to make you happy and he doesn’t, it’s better to be single.

Are you settling?

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