I did mention in a previous post that I am on an online dating website but I never really gave it much of a chance until recently. I have been more proactive and looking at other men’s profiles and that usually causes at least some of them to write you if they find you interesting.
The problems start when you actually respond to someone you might see yourself with or at least have an attraction towards. A lot of women are able to exchange messages and numbers and reach their goal… going out on that first date. I on the other hand am completely stagnant. Texting scares the shit out of me now and I never used to pay that much attention to it before but I realize that that is when I loose them.
Now every time I make some type of connection with someone on the site I freak out because I know that eventually they’ll give me their number and just like all the other conversations it will fizzle down.
I don’t bombard them with texts. I say my part and then wait for them to respond but I never know what the proper etiquette is and I never knew it was so damn complicated. Most of the time I wait for them to make the first move because I assume what I am sure most women assume as well. If a man is interested he will do anything to see you.
Every one has a different way of expressing themselves though and I am forever confused with what the rules are. I know someone who manages to be bombarded by dates and she doesn’t wait an hour to respond to a message she responds as soon as her phone rings. I read somewhere that you are supposed to take your time to respond to texts and make them think that you have your own life and aren’t waiting around for them. It really frustrates the hell out of me because this woman answers them immediately and she gets tons of dates while I try not to appear eager and get none.
I also read that we shouldn’t take our crushes not responding immediately as a form of rejection. I understand that people are busy and have lives but you cant always take 4 hours to respond to someone you supposedly like. I always thought that if you didn’t respond right away you weren’t interested. People are different so some rules wont apply to everyone but it seems like no matter how different the men I’ve been in contact with are from each other they, as well as us, still manage to play the same texting games.
I still get excited when I meet someone but words mean nothing to me anymore. In the moment I might get excited by the sweet words or mentions of the future but then I remember that others have done the same and have not acted on it.
I wish we could all just say how we feel and turn our words into actions instead of wondering all the time if your crush is truly into you or just bored.
So, would you rather text a bunch of men or women and never meet them or be known as the first date queen or king?